Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
