i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
