I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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