Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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