YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
