the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
