I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
