We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
