id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
