theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
