sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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