Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
