i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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