somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Are my feet made of real feet?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You were trust falling into bushes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
