fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
