i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
