I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
