why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
