Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
