So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
