You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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