the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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