So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
