you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can I color on your dick again?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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