just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
