At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
