think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
