Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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