i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
that is very illegal...i love you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
