Your mouth is God's brothel.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
