At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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