i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
