I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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