Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
