Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
