It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
