her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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