why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
