Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
