Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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