on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
