So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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