If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she told me i tasted like america
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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