Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
