Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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