Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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