can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
