He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
