Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
