Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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