she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
