just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
